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so today in the dressing room there was this hot guy in his underwear so i decided to take a picture of his bulge and i forgot my fucking flash was on… finish the story yourself

(Source: humorking)

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"Don’t you get it? I chose you, over anyone else. I always fucking choose you."
(via luftnot)

(Source: latelycravingmore)

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barack no michelle is my friend we can’t

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"Sober or drunk, it’s always you."
"There goes my Heart" (Anonymous)

(Source: sharhk)

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"You will have bad times, but they will always wake you up to the stuff you weren’t paying attention to."

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  • police officer: you're under arrest for shooting someone in the chest
  • me: whoever made the rhyme did the crime(:
  • police officer: haha i have to give you credit for that one dude you're off the hook

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